What is a Buddy?
A butler who becomes like a part of yourself.
About What is a Buddy?
A Buddy is a butler who, over many visits to The Salon, comes to know how strong you take your tea, the moment to offer a rug, and the hours in which you would rather not be spoken to, until at last they support you as naturally as a part of your own body. Members of Silver rank and above may nominate a Buddy.
What does "like a part of yourself" mean?
Noticing before you reach for what you need, waiting while you search for words, offering choices when you hesitate. It describes a relationship in which your own will remains at the centre, while your movements are supported without effort.
A relationship with a Buddy is not only a record of preferences but an awareness of how each day differs. If a guest who usually enjoys conversation opens a book in silence, the tea is set down and the butler withdraws a little. If she is admiring a different piece of porcelain rather than her usual cup, its story is told in a few words. Past memory is never allowed to harden into assumption; the judgement is made by looking at the person before us.
What the butlers of Queen's Butler hold dear is that courtesy is preserved within familiarity. However the relationship deepens, nothing that should be confirmed is skipped: which pieces may be touched, what conversation is wished for, what distance is needed. A Buddy at Queen's Butler is not a matter of easy familiarity, but a butler whose movements are made smooth by trust.
Read how to choose a Buddy
How does a Buddy differ from the butler of the day?
| Point of comparison | Free (Visitor and Bronze) | Buddy (Silver and above) |
|---|---|---|
| The butler who serves you | The butler on duty that day | The butler nominated by the member |
| Confirming preferences | Asked one by one on the day of your visit | Drawn from previous visits, with your mood on the day confirmed |
| Conversation and silence | We ask at the outset what distance you prefer | Knows your usual rhythm, notices when it differs, and adjusts accordingly |
| Booking | Visitors from 7 days ahead, Bronze from 14 days ahead | Silver and above have priority from 21 to 45 days ahead |
| Service beyond the Manor | Not included as a member benefit | Gold and above include chauffeured pick-up and butler visits |
| Butler contract | The gateway to a deeper relationship | Open to discussion, though only certain butlers may accept one |
With priority booking, your wishes are taken earlier. If a butler's availability does not allow it, we propose alternative dates.
From first meeting to nominating a Buddy, in five steps
Be served at the Manor
As a Visitor or Bronze member, spend the time from the door to your send-off. See for yourself how the butler speaks to you and the distance they keep.
Meet several butlers
Our butlers are men and women of different ages and different strengths. There is no need to decide in haste on a single impression.
Put into words what felt right
Tell your butler what you found comfortable: the pauses in conversation, the moment the tea was served, the way they waited quietly.
Consider Silver or above
Buddy nomination is available from Silver rank upwards. Weighing the monthly hours and priority booking too, choose the rank you can use without strain.
Tell us your choice
Let us know the butler you would like, and we confirm their availability and what can be arranged.
A good match shows in three of the butler's judgements
The moments of speech and of silence feel right
More than the range of topics, notice whether the moments a conversation begins and ends suit you. Some butlers do not hurry to fill a silence.
Read more
Anticipation never feels imposed
Before offering a cup or a rug, the butler reads your expression and checks. Consider whether that judgement feels natural to you.
Read more
Honest about what can and cannot be done
Rather than accepting anything on the strength of familiarity, a butler who keeps to the scope of their duties and the promises of the Manor is a measure of long-term trust.
Read more
What does a Buddy remember, and what do they confirm each time?
| Tea | Remembers your preferred strength and choice, while confirming what you would like that day. You may choose your usual cup or an encounter with a different piece of porcelain |
|---|---|
| Your place in the Manor | Remembers the scenes and seats where you settle, whether the study, the fireplace room or the dining room. Even in the same room, the lighting and the angle of the chair are matched to the day's purpose |
| Conversation | Knows the subjects you enjoy and the moments you prefer quiet, and reads your expression on the day. Never hurries a reply, waiting to see whether words will follow before adjusting how they wait on you |
| Temperature and light | Draws on your preferences for rugs and the brightness of the house, adjusted to the season and how you feel that day. Never decides on past preference alone, and asks again when needed |
| Your companions | Does not impose preferences known from you alone as a rule for everyone, but asks afresh about seating, drinks and the flow of conversation. |
| Wishes for next time | Confirms both what you would like to continue from last time and what you would like to change. The conversation at your send-off becomes the preparation for your next visit |
What a Buddy supports naturally
- Carrying the preferences learned on previous visits into the preparation for the next
- Distinguishing the moments you wish to talk from those you wish to spend quietly, and waiting accordingly
- Arranging the lights, chairs and drinks before you move to another room
- Sharing your wishes with care when they need to be passed on to another butler
- Serving with courtesy, whichever butler you nominate, man or woman
What is always confirmed
- Deciding on past preference alone, without confirming your wishes on the day
- Accepting requests beyond the scope of a butler's duties on the strength of familiarity
- A contract for continuing service at your home arising from Buddy nomination at the Manor alone
- A guarantee that your nominated butler will be available on every date and time you wish
To nurture the relationship
- Tell us which gestures felt right, so that they may continue next time
- Tell us freely what you would like changed
- On days when you feel different from usual, let us know in a word what you would like
Your words shape the next visit
- Share your small wishes with your Buddy: that last time's tea was just right, that today you would like quiet, that next time you would prefer the fireplace room
- The more we learn of your wishes, the better your butler can tell what to prepare next time and what to leave unprepared so as to ask again
An afternoon with your Buddy begins quietly where the last one ended
A day with your Buddy is not a repetition of the same plans but a way of composing the day with the memory of your last visit as its starting point. When the door opens, your butler takes your coat and belongings and, before hurrying you to your usual place, asks how you feel today.
In the study, the book opens where you last left off. In the fireplace room, the rug is arranged before any conversation begins. In the dining room, your favourite porcelain is offered as one choice, with room left to turn to another piece. A Buddy's manner is not to make a show of remembering, but to present things so that you may choose again.
At your send-off, we confirm possible dates for next time and add to the butler's memory whatever changed today. You are not the same on every visit. That is why a Buddy never relies on memory alone, but decides the next step from the voice and the expression before them. What remains after the door closes is a double reassurance: that nothing needed saying, and that everything that mattered was asked.
See Silver membership
Continuing service at your home requires a separate butler contract
A butler contract is a separate agreement setting out the role, hours and remuneration under which a Buddy you have come to value serves you on a continuing basis at your home or elsewhere. It does not arise automatically from Buddy nomination at the Manor or from the butler visits included at Gold rank and above.
At the Manor, you can judge a butler's manner and your compatibility within arranged furnishings and an established flow. At your home, the role is reshaped around the handling of your own possessions, the receiving of your guests and your daily habits. Trust with your Buddy is the foundation, but the necessary confirmations are made afresh.
Remuneration and terms are discussed on enquiry. Only certain butlers may accept a butler contract, so a contract is not possible with every butler you might nominate as a Buddy. If you hope for a butler contract in future, please tell us at the stage of choosing your Buddy.
Read about butler contracts with your Buddy
QCan anyone nominate a Buddy?
Buddy nomination is available to members of Silver rank and above. We confirm the availability of the butler you would like and explain what can be arranged.
QCan a woman butler be my Buddy?
Yes, both men and women serve as our butlers. Beyond gender, please judge the rhythm of conversation and the manner of service by being served in person.
QDo I need to choose a Buddy on my first visit?
No, there is no need to decide in haste. Meet several butlers as a Visitor or Bronze member, and consult us once you have found the service that feels right.
QWill my nominated Buddy always be available on the date I wish?
Priority booking is available. If the butler's availability does not allow it, we propose alternative dates.
QDo I need to repeat my preferences each time?
Your Buddy carries the preferences learned on previous visits into the next. Even so, please tell us freely how you feel that day and anything you would like changed.
QCan my Buddy serve me outside the Manor?
Gold rank and above include chauffeured pick-up (in an Alphard driven by your butler, to and from five locations including Tokyo Teleport Station) and butler visits as benefits. If you wish for continuing service at your home, please discuss a separate butler contract with us.
About your Buddy
- A Buddy agreement depends on the butler's availability and requires the consent of both parties. We cannot guarantee that an agreement will be made
- Only some of our butlers are able to enter into a butler agreement
About members' reservations
- Hours and visits are upper limits; depending on butlers' availability we may be unable to accept a reservation, in which case we will propose alternative dates
You may also wish to read
Buddy and Membership
Compare hours and benefits from Bronze to Platinum at a glance.
Read more
Gold Membership
The rank that extends your time at the Manor to chauffeured pick-up and butler visits.
Read more
Visitor Rates
Hourly visits for those coming to know the Manor and its butlers for the first time.
Read more
First, discover at the Manor the butler whose distance feels right
There is no need to choose a Buddy in haste. Visit again, and consult us when you find a butler you would like to see once more.