At the Table
When in doubt, ask with your eyes.
About At the Table
At the Table is time spent seated in the Dining Room, laid with silver cutlery and porcelain, enjoying the etiquette of the table with a butler's glance to guide you. Should you feel a little tense, there is no need to worry: your butler is watching your hands, and when in doubt you need only ask with your eyes. For women guests only.
From before you sit until you leave the table, your butler attends in five movements
Laying the table for your number
In the Queen's Butler Dining Room, your butler checks the number of plates and cutlery to be used, and the placing of the roses.
Opening the double doors into the Dining Room
As the great French oak doors swing open, the yew table and the nine-light chandelier come into view.
Drawing your chair and checking the silver and your hands
Your butler draws the chair quietly and adjusts it once you are seated. Should you hesitate over the order or use of the silver, a gesture towards your hand and a brief word will guide you.
Please tell us in advance if you bring food or drink
If you wish to bring food or drink into the Dining Room, please tell us what when booking. The Manor does not serve meals.
At the moment of doubt, a glance answers
We do not keep explaining which piece to use and what it is for. Your butler watches your hands and offers a look or a brief word only at the moment it is needed.
The Dining Room is a place where your posture straightens a little the moment the doors open
The Queen's Butler Dining Room is a room in which an English yew table, wine-red chairs and a nine-light Maria Theresa chandelier form a single scene. When the doors open, the silver and porcelain are already turned to receive you.
The twin-pedestal extending table by Bradley of England, made in the 1980s, supports its top on two columns. With no legs to hinder you as you sit, it is a design that grew up for formal dining, and one you may test for yourself from the chair.
On the table stand a five-light candelabrum, brass candlesticks at either end, and the silver bell for calling your butler. How much light to leave, and whether to add music, your butler arranges to your wishes.
See the Dining Room
Each piece of silver and porcelain on the table has its reason for being handled by a butler
| Piece | Origin | Its place at the table |
|---|---|---|
| Christofle Marly | Rocaille decoration named for the Château de Marly. Twelve types for six settings | Your butler lays each piece for its purpose and handles it in white gloves. Rather than learning every name, enjoy the flow of the pattern and the butler's hands |
| Bernardaud Volubilis | Limoges porcelain with a floral pattern and gilded rim | See the flowers and gilding handled by your butler, alongside the silver |
| Okura Ruri Kinshoku Budo | A 30 cm service plate in lapis blue with etched gold | As the plate that marks the centre of each setting, its lapis and gold design is seen through the butler's hands |
| Royal Doulton Carlyle | Bread plate, dessert plate, demitasse cup and saucer | The purpose of each piece, for bread, dessert or demitasse, is seen in the butler's movements |
| Crystal glassware | A collection of different forms for water, red, white and champagne | Your butler sets each to its purpose and seat, where the hand reaches naturally |
What lies on the table is not merely to be admired from a distance. Watch your butler handle each piece up close, and when you take one in your hand, we quietly show you how to hold it.
At three moments of doubt, look to your butler
Taking your seat
Choose whichever chair you like. Wait before it, and your butler will draw it and help you to your seat.
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Choosing the silver
You need not remember what each piece is for. If unsure what to pick up next, turn your eyes to your butler, who will gesture to your hand and add only the word that is needed.
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Leaving the table
Check the containers and small items you brought, and wait before your chair. Your butler draws it back and puts the silver and porcelain in order.
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How the table is laid and how the butler's glance changes with your number and purpose
| Alone | Choose the seat you like, and your butler lays the table so that you can watch the handling of silver and porcelain. You may choose to talk with your butler or to enjoy a quiet hour. |
|---|---|
| As a couple | Roses or the candelabrum are placed between facing seats at a height that does not block your view. Your butler does not join the conversation, coming near only when needed. |
| Three to six | Spacing lets every hand reach silver and glass and lets your butler pass behind. If each guest proceeds at a different pace, the next course is prepared without hurry. |
| For a celebration | If you bring food, drink or small items to photograph, please tell us when booking. The Manor does not serve meals. |
| To learn the etiquette | Rather than a lecture, we quietly show you before the actual silver and porcelain. Ask your butler whenever a question arises. |
What your butler arranges at the table
- Table, chairs, silver and porcelain arranged for your number and occasion
- Drawing chairs, handling silver and porcelain and clearing the table, all undertaken by your butler
- The order and use of the silver cutlery, shown at the actual table
- A glance or a brief word from your butler as you choose the silver
- For commemorative photographs, guidance on where the table and you look their best
What we ask of you
- The Manor does not serve meals. You are welcome to bring your own food and drink
- This is not an occasion for continuous lecturing on procedure
- Please do not move silver, porcelain or the candelabrum without your butler's guidance
Your butler watches your hands before the silver
A glance at the table is not a check on right and wrong, but a signal so that your moment of doubt does not last. Your butler notes where your eyes rest and which piece your fingers reach for, and comes near only when an answer is needed.
Each piece of silver has its purpose, but there is no need to learn every name. When you hesitate before the real thing, your butler gestures to your hand. That you move naturally to the next step matters more to us than the amount of explanation.
Queen's Butler is run by the Japan Butler Association. The butlers who serve at the Manor handle silver and porcelain without harm while keeping a distance that lets you relax. The white-gloved hands, the angle at which a plate is set, the quietness of a chair being drawn: all are part of the Dining Room's scene.
Etiquette Q&A at The SalonQAre meals provided at the Manor?
The Queen's Butler Manor does not serve meals. You are welcome to bring your own food and drink. Please tell us what you will bring when booking.
QIs it all right if I do not know table manners?
Yes; there is nothing to learn beforehand. At the moment of doubt your butler glances your way and, if needed, adds a quiet word.
QMay I touch the silver and porcelain?
Yes. You may hold them and watch your butler handle them. Taking pieces from the cabinet and moving them is your butler's task, so please just ask.
QMay I choose time at the table alone?
Yes. We welcome guests alone in the Dining Room. We arrange a seat from which you can watch your butler's movements directly, and match the amount of conversation to your wishes.
QHow many friends may sit with me?
Up to six guests. So that your butler can watch every pair of hands, the chairs and the table are spaced in advance.
QIs there a dress code?
There is no set dress. Please come in clothes that are easy to sit in and move around the Manor in. If there is an outfit you would like photographed, you may also ask about changing.
About bringing food and drink
- You are welcome to bring your own food and drink
You may also wish to read
The table is laid and waiting.
Please tell us your preferred date and time, number of guests, and what you will bring.